I saw a great TedTalk this morning and it set me off. The following is a stream of consciousness rant:
Of the few things I regret in my life, not finishing teacher’s college is the big one. I let one miserable old man at one school tell me that something I’d dreamed of, something I’d worked for, something I’d been told I’d be GREAT at MY WHOLE LIFE, wasn’t for me because I was disorganized and had trouble accepting the public school system as it is. I got hauled into the principal’s office during my practicum on my second day for questioning certain policies and rules. They said if I kept my head down and didn’t do it again this wouldnt’ go on my permanent record. It was not a good start.
He’s not entirely wrong; I AM disorganized. I don’t like the public education system how it is. Certain things are unnecessary and don’t make sense. I know systems don’t change from inside, but at least if I was inside it I could be working to build great kids, be that champion who never gives up on them while I put pressure where I could to make positive changes.
The November I started my teaching practicum I was dealing badly with my usual fall depression, early mornings, late nights, a kid at home, and the incredible pressure to DO THE THING. I needed a champion. I needed self confidence, self-esteem and a mentor who believed in me. I got the opposite.
I’ve had wonderful teachers in my life, and ones that scared me. The ones I remember the best are the ones who gave hugs, who listened, who understood that behind the chatty, bright exterior there was a little girl who desperately wanted to be liked and win their approval. People who let me read quietly whenever I needed/wanted too, people who gave me a soapbox, people who let me debate with my classmates, people who challenged me to grow and be my best. When I was little I never doubted that I was supposed to get an education, that I was supposed to do whatever I wanted with my life. My parents made sure to never limit our dreams just because we were girls, and I ran with that. Voted Most Likely to Become Prime Minister, I figured a teacher was a good place to go. But I never got there because I let one person tear me down when I was vulnerable.
Don’t be that person. Be kind, thoughtful, empathetic, compassionate. If you can’t say something helpful or nice, don’t say anything at all. Criticism for the sake of it, just pointing out someone’s mistakes without helping them grow and change, is useless. Be someone’s champion.
